Why I Fired My Secretary

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling

Too hot that morning anyway.

I went to breakfast knowing my wife

Would be pleasant and say ?Happy Birthday,?

And would probably have a present for me.

She didn't even say ?Good Morning,? Let alone any ?Happy Birthday.?

I thought, ?Well, that's wives for you. Maybe the children will remember .?

The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.

When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet , said,

?Good morning boss, Happy Birthday.?

So I felt a little better; someone had remembered.

I worked until noon. Then Janet knocked on my door and said,

?You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday,

let's go to lunch, just you and me.? I said, ?By George,

that's the best thing I've heard all day. Let's go. ?

We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go;

We went out into the country to a little private place.

We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said,

?You know, it's such a beautiful day.

We don't need to go back to the office, do we??

I said, ?No, I guess not.? She said, ?Let's go to my apartment.?

After arriving at her apartment she said, ?Boss, if you don't mind ,

I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable.?

Sure? I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and,

In about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake,

Followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends.

All were singing ? Happy Birthday? And there on the couch I sat... Naked.